Speaking of Sex

I was at book club last week, not that I read the book (or even remembered the title), but there was the promise of martinis so, I went. The pre-book conversation turned to sex. Since this is a subject I enjoy thinking and talking about, I was happy. Then it turned bad.

Apparently the conversation was not to extol the wonderful virtues and pleasures of sex, but to describe the drudgery and inconvenience it involved. What? Really my good friends? I have to mention, these ladies are lovely, well read, intelligent, not prudish in the least and I consider them very open people. But, intimate acts have become that difficult?

They were further horrified to find out that I still have sex frequently and actually enjoy it, nay love it. While  I crave the physicality of it, the sensations, the sound, the smells, the heat. What I love most is the intimacy. To literally bare yourself to another person is an exercise in love and trust.

When my husband tells me how much he loves and lusts my 37 year old, post baby, slightly too soft body, and I know he means it deeply, that is a connection. That is the feeling of closeness and love that these friends are missing out on. My husband and I still talk incessantly about our feelings, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. and still laugh our asses off together. We have new, usually juvenile, inside jokes all the time, too. I strongly feel this comes from our intimacy.

We have found when we are having a rough time connecting verbally, sex is off. In the same way, whenever our sex is disrupted (i.e. illness, pregnancy, etc.), our communication is more difficult.

People wonder why Blaine and I don't fight more often as people do after they have been married for a while. My answer is, we have a lot of sex. We still experiment. If something doesn't feel good, we let the person know. If something feels really good, we let the other person know. If we want to try something new, we talk about it. If we are no longer into something, we tell the other one. All this translates into awesome sex and important communication outside the bedroom.

So, I encourage everyone today to go have sex. Talk, feel, communicate, even if it's with yourself. If you don't have a partner, you still need the release and intimacy. I'm not joking folks! It will deepen your relationship and it feels hella good.

In closing I would like to say: Viva sex!