I woke up at 5:45 this morning. No alarm. Just woke up and laid in bed for a bit. As a side note, I have to leave early to teach gymnastics so that I can drop my daughter's lunch off at school. Why? I didn't get it made in time.

These things are related. You see, while I woke up exceptionally early, I didn't get out of bed until 6:45. I even got out of bed once to check something on the computer and then went back. I can't seem to get out of bed in the morning. I'm not sure why. I like to call it "morning paralysis."

I experience morning paralysis often. Sometimes the kids are even late to school because I can not get myself up and going. Starting the day is so overwhelming to me. I think it's similar to what I wrote about yesterday. It's like there is a giant list of things I have to accomplish during the day and it is so intimidating to get it started. For example this morning this is what was the list I saw in my head:

- wake up
- get dressed
- brush teeth
-fix hair
- put on make-up
- wake up girls
- make breakfast
-make lunches
- make sure girls are dressed
- make sure girls hair is fixed
- make sure girls have their book bags
- get girls coats on
- get girls out the door to the bus on time
- clean up breakfast
- make coffee
- check e-mails
- bring Kalyn's lunch up to school
- teach gymnastice

This brings my day up to 9:30. While nothing on this list is hard, in my head the list is so long that I can't get the motivation to get out of bed to get started. Once I am started, all is well and I am moving.

Often in the afternoon, a very similar thing happens as I am looking to after school and evening activities and anticipating the list starting over the next day.

It's crazy. It's nonsense. Why do I have a pity party so often. It's embarrassing to even put this particular thought out there because I know how much other people struggle. But, this is me. This is my brain and my psyche.  It's all good.

Time to go take lunch to school.